Winter, Kids and Getting Out!
Lockdown in winter, with kids, is a different kettle of fish to the late spring and into summer days of lockdown 2020.
Trying to get yourself up and out of bed, let alone the kids requires so much more everything. I feel you. All the layers to get on, then off again, the cold, the damp clothes, the narrower time window of daylight. Getting the kids motivated to get onboard, get all the gear on and get out the door can be just a bit extra than what we have in us. Be encouraged though, all the blood, sweat (this auto corrected to ‘swear’- it’s not incorrect!!) and tears you’re expending now, pays off. Putting the energy into it in the earlier years helps tremendously in the later years or childhood. Admittedly, it used to send me over the edge getting there, to that point of getting physically out the door. I’m glad I persevered though. My now self though is really thankful and indebted to my younger self who most definitely earned her badge of perseverance.
I used to be really focused on types of motivation and instilling in my kids that the only reason they needed to do something was for the intrinsic value of ‘having done the right or best thing’ and it was good enough to do something for ‘the pure joy of having done it.’ This was partly down to having zero cash to buy rewards and treats outside the weekly budget and partly because its really good sense of internal navigation to have. I think differently about it now.
Generally speaking… there’s 2 brackets of motivation. Intrinsic and Extrinsic.
-Intrinsically motivated people have a fire in them to do something and practice and practice and practice before the actual practice to get it right so when it comes to the actual practice they’ve already nailed it. It’s fascinating. They care less about personal comfort then most and will get up early, practice in the dark, the cold and wet and in conditions that are less than perfect to improve and better themselves. They need no one or few people to watch them or notice what they are doing. The simple achievement of being able to do the said task is reward enough. Their stickability is incredible. The end satisfaction being, they haven't let themselves or others down.
-Extrinsically motivated people need outward acknowledgement from as many people as possible to congratulate them on their hard work, effort and how much time they’ve put in. They are less likely to do the task unless conditions are perfect. They’re the ones who look at you to see if you’re watching.
And then there’s every version in between. We have quite a solid sliding scale in our family with types of motivation and that’s a good thing. I will always try to stretch their capacity to embrace new things and the same is true of this. Whatever side of the line they predominantly fall on I try to instill a sense of the other in them. For example, If they’re intrinsically motivated it's good to feel the warmth , encouragement, attention and reward from others for the effort expended. If they’re extrinsically motivated it's good to just do something purely for the joy and for the good of doing it with no public accolade, acknowledgement or reward involved but a sense of personal accomplishment and pride in self.
Why do we bother motivating and getting the kids up and out of the house in all weathers? Aside from the fact they’re like dogs and need a good run out...Here are some characteristics we’ve seen all weather adventuring develop in us and in our kids.
Adventuring in all weather, gives them so much, there’s a long list of benefits but here’s a few highlights. It allows them to explore resilience, encourages adaptability, gives them a sense of adventure, bolsters their sense of accomplishment, creates new sensations in their bodies, and develops a mother load of patience in you, or invites an opportunity for you to develop it at least!!!
In practical terms these are some of the ways of late we have adopted to encourage ownership and purpose of going outside;
-Nature boxes:
Subscribe for a couple of months to a nature box. Most are offering month by month options to facilitate families in lockdown. You could try out a few and find out which ones work best. We are subscribed to @thelittelnaturalistsclub and are loving it. Why? I know, you know that we do tons of nature based learning and adventures already. Subscribing to a box means that I'm not setting the theme or being the leader, and the kids get to have more ownership over it all. Independence and self direction is a great motivator. They are the ones increasingly who want to go out and find the plantain or compare tree barks (from this months box) and I love it too. There is always so much to learn in nature and this time I get to join in with them. Their sense of purpose and mission has increased 10 fold.
-1000 hours outside colouring sheet:
You colour in a section every time you spend an hour outside. I didn't think this would have as much appeal as it does. The kids are dead keen to colour in their little section and see it the grid fill up! Again, they get to have ownership and it celebrates just getting outside … no other objective. Wrapping yourself in a million blankets and setting on your doorstep counts just as much. When the newness of this rubs off, I’ll add in little rewards at certain points. Nothing fantastic just simple things such as, a movie night with popcorn, hot chocolate, buy a treat - that kinda thing!
A deck of cards with adjectives written and illustrated on it and multiple ways to play it. In short they go find items that match the adjective. Great in groups, for exploring and keeping the moaning at bay.
-Timed Challenges:
Can you find _____ in 3 seconds?
How long will it take you to get up the hill? … okay go!
-For the pure joy of accomplishing it:
All that to say sometimes we just deliver a blanket order of, ‘get your shoes and coats on we’re all going out for no other reason then to leave the house- don’t care if you don’t want to no one wants to but we all are going, bring your big feelings with you and tell the trees, they’re very understanding and excellent listeners!”
-Challenges:
Laying down a difficult challenge and having a suitable reward for achieving it. One of my kids wants to keep their fitness up while football has been postponed. I agreed to take them for a run. I would run along behind with the smaller people and not so keen runners. I had no idea how this would go. While they powered on us laggers struggled to 2.5km - it was hard work and then I was pestered for treats and rewards. In a moment of frustration I said ‘ when you do 3km running, no moaning- you’ll get a hot chocolate.’ Since that moment to my utter surprise we have not looked back. Purely for the love of a fancy hot chocolate, my kids have run 4km in a blizzard enduring subzero temps and being lashed in the face with snow. Today, we attempted a 5km run, yes, even the 5 year old. They smashed it! I am genuinely astounded. It’s truly fabulous when kids exceed our expectations, however they are motivated.
So my advice, get some outdoor gear for your kids, it doesn't have to cost the earth, take a ton of deep breaths, all the time, continuously, layer them up out and get out there. I hope reading this you feel encouraged to keep going and that you begin to see and feel the benefits to your family and in your soul.
Over the next few weeks, I've got a fab bunch of ladies sharing their stories from nature, what it means to them and what advice they would give their younger selves. Looking forward to sharing those with you!
Rachel x
